Beyond the Realm of Words

The other day I was sitting in Barnes and Noble waiting for my wife to pick me up after work when I picked up the latest issue of Climbing Magazine (Yes, I admit I read them. But, I equate it to rubber necking. You know it's going to be bad, but you look anyway) Inside there was a letter from a former Senior Editor at Alpinist (The only climbing magazine actually worth reading) Katie Ives. Just about the entire climbing world is lamenting the loss of Alpinist and waiting to see what new editor Michael Kennedy does with the new version of it. Katie had written to Climbing to encourage that magazine to carry on the vision that the team at Alpinist had for their publication. The goal of their magazine was to try to begin to describe what she called "the world beyond the realm of words."

I can tell you that I've been to that world. I know this because everytime I try telling someone about one of my trips and I completely fail to capture their imagination. How does one describe a place that is beyond description? Just yesterday my family was asking me about my recent trip to Bolivia, and the best I could do to explain what I had done was to show inadequate pictures. Whatever spark ignites inside of me when I am in those places seems to be lost when I try to talk about them. I get the feeling that I come off sounding rather blase because of my matter-of-fact nature of speaking when talking about my trips. I can assure you though, that my true feelings are anything but apathetic. I've realized, though, that the thing that I've stopped putting energy into, is really trying to tell people about what I do. I can take you there. I can show you for yourself, but I can't just talk or show you pictures.

Something about that phrase, "beyond the realm of words" really struck me though as I read it and spurred a million other thoughts. I first thought of a Russell Brand interview I had heard the other day on Fresh Air where he was talking about the power of words and story telling (I don't know why that was my first thought, but strange as it isto think of, it was). I next thought about Three Cups of Tea, which I finally got around to reading after my wife had been telling me for months (maybe years) to pick it up. That thought led to my trip to Bolivia, and then on to my life in the past year. I am two weeks away from my third, or fourth, depending on how you count, major life change in the last year. It's been a lot to take in, and I'm trying to make sense of it all now before we move on to our next, and hopefully, last, location (for at least another 6 months).

My last blog about Bolivia focused on the really difficult parts of the trip and none of the really amazing people, places or things that we did. I think that is simply because its easier to write about the hard things than all of the things that lie beyond the realm of words. Bolivia was simply amazing; it was amazing in a way that I can't really describe. All I can say is that it has consumed my thoughts for the two weeks since I've been back. The conversations I had there have inspired my mind, and at the moment there are more questions than answers. So, I'll focus on the things that I've been thinking about, as incomplete as those thoughts may be.

The kind of people that I really envy in life are the ones like Greg Mortenson. It's not the lifestyle that makes me jealous, but the singularity of vision in a person like that. Name it whatever you will - calling, vocation, mission, life's purpose. They are all words for the same thing. What would possess a person to make radical changes in everything that they do to pursue one single thing on the road far less traveled? I think that it is partly witnessed somthing spectacular in the realm beyond words. In the case of Greg Mortenson, he was already exploring some of the most incredible and indescribable places on the planet when he literally stumbled onto the wrong path and everything changed for him.

The last year has definitely been the road less traveled for us, so what paths have we stumbled upon? Living without fulltime work, Colorado, wilderness, Argentina, Patagonia, Chester County, substitute teaching, Bolivia. I've walked a road or two in all of those places. Before we left for Argentina I had decided that I would not make any definite decisions about what I wanted to until after returning from Africa. I wanted that to be my time of trial and reflection, and I hoped that I would emerge on the other side of that experience with a Mortenson-like vision for what the next stage of my life would be. Well, Africa didn't happen, and a few other paths have opened up instead. Have any of those new journeys been the one to change everything for me? How about the journeys of the past year? Or are they all moving towards another, as of yet, undiscovered, path? Or perhaps even nothing at all. Maybe the singular moment where I see it all clearly will never come. Waiting for a grand epiphany isn't usually the best method for life and/or career planning, but hey, I don't have any other great ideas at the moment.

Are you now wondering how this rambling post has managed to go from reading a bad magazine to trying to figure out what to do with my life? It's all connected - trust me. Just focus on the realm beyond words idea. Like I said, I've been there. I've seen it; I've lived in it; I've breathed in it deeply. Now, the question is what to do next, and I don't know. If I had the answer I wouldn't be rambling.

In Russell Brand's new book (which has turned out to not be that great, eventhough Russell clearly has streak of genius when it comes to language - I think that just comes from being British) he writes the following passage, which though, not the situation he's writing about, is completely applicable to the realm beyond words - or in that case any location or situation that really puts one in the crucible.

In that situation, alienated from my normal surroundings, I realized that the outer surface of what I thought was my unique individual identity was just a set of routines. We all have an essential self, but if you spend every day chopping up meat on a slab, selling it by the pound, soon you'll find you've become a butcher. And if you don't want to become a butcher (and why would you?) you're going to have to cut right through to the bare bonds of your own character in the hope of finding out who you really are. Which bloody hurts.

So, because I've spent the last year running around the world, leading trips, and teaching - does that make me an outdoor educator? Or is my "essential self" something other than that?