The curse of Chief Niwot

So there is legend based on true events that we heard about soon after arriving in Boulder. During the Gold Rush as people headed out West they encountered more and more Natives. Here in Boulder County it was the Southern Arapahos that encountered the first whites. Captain Thomas Aikins led the group towards Denver but one glimpse of the mountains near Boulder caused him to veer off course and head toward them instead, convinced that they held the gold he was seeking. Chief Niwot saw them coming and it was in that moment that he proclaimed his legendary curse. According to the Chief, the curse of Boulder Valley was its breathtaking landscape: "People seeing the beauty of this valley will want to stay, and their staying will be the undoing of the beauty." As soon as we told people that we came to Boulder after visiting this summer they told it was the curse of Chief Niwot that brought us back. And honestly, I do believe it is true, though the undoing of the beauty I am not as convinced of. So many people have visited and then moved here as if drawn by something else. Before I left my friend Ali was saying how jealous she was of me. She had spent some time out here last summer as well and said it was seriously somewhere she could see herself living, the only place that would take her away from NY. My sister Jen lived in Boulder for about 8 years until she had my nephew. Convinced that she wanted to be closer to family she moved to NY. After living in NY for about 4 years, forcing herself to make it work and be happy, she realized it wasn't working. She then moved to Argentina to be with a different side of the family and though she loves it there, guess where she is moving to this summer? Yeah, Boulder. There is truly something about this place that is drawing you in. I feel as though I am finally home here.

We have been here a little over a week and it just feels comfortable. And there is not something that I can pin point that makes me feel that way, it is just a feeling. I do love being able to bike to work everyday on a bike path especially made for bikers, one that follows the lay of the land and rarely crosses any roads. I love that people out here are just nicer in general, just happier. I love that when I take my break at work I get to sit on the back porch outside Panera with a breath-taking view of the mountains. I love that we can go climbing and hiking any time we want and that the options are literally endless! I love all the little shops and cafes and places where you can find cool stuff and cool people. I love all the concerts and fairs and markets and culture! I love the Teahouse, the library, the Pearl street mall and all the performers you can find there. I love looking at the mountains as I ride to work and all the sunny days! I also love that it is far greener than I thought it would be and that all the flowers are in bloom!

I started working at Panera on the 11th and the first few days were rough. I just didn't really understand what I was doing there, working in something I really have no long term goals of doing. My GM asked me if I was working towards becoming a manager and I said no, she seemed surprised, oh well. I am a Shift Supervisor which is kind of like a junior manager. After a few days it got better. The atmosphere at this Panera is just so different. All of the managers are young and totally chill. This Panera gets way more business than my old one ever did and that's a great change of pace. I have applied to so many other jobs that I would rather do, but for now, this works. I mean until I start my Master's, there is very little I can do in my field which is one of the most frustrating things about Psychology. I plan to enroll for the Fall 2010 semester and hopefully that will open up some doors for me.
Anyway, thought I would give a quick update on how we are doing out here. Jay leaves for his Outward Bound training tomorrow so send some prayers and good vibes our way.

Stuck in the Middle

I just returned from my first job interview in Colorado. I would say that it went fairly well with one major exception - both women who interviewed me saw right through my carefully crafted resume and asked, "So, do you really want to work here in a lab?" How do I respond to that? Yes, please ma'am, I do actually want the job, but I know that every second I am in here will suck just a little bit more life out of me. No, No, I don't want this job just to have a job. I'm here for the longterm. Did that sound convincing? The hard part is that I could really like the company. They do all natural products chemistry - that is, things like analysis of anti-oxidants in teas, dietary supplements, etc. etc. It's all very fascinating to me and something that I could really get into working on.

This kind of thing has happened to me before. When I interview for science jobs, they all wonder about why I've been "wasting" my time in the woods. And, when I interview for outdoor ed jobs, they all wonder why anyone in their right mind would ever spend that much time in front of a computer or in a lab. They just can't wrap their heads around my dichotomous nature. I know that I've blogged about what I should do with my life here before, and some of you may be getting tired of hearing me gripe about it. Believe me, I hope to be done with the griping very soon. I've had about enough of it myself. My interviewers actually had some good suggestions about positions that would fit well for me, even if they were skeptical that I could get them in this economy (Is that a bad sign when the person who is interviewing you for a job recommends one that "would be perfect for you" that's different from the position you're interviewing for?

Anyway, on the walk home I had what I will call a minor epiph....breakthrough. I was thinking about my previous bosses. Both of them are hardworking people who seem to care about what they do. They care so much in fact, that the go home at night thinking about how they can do what they do better. That was the epiphan....breakthrough - that they go home at night thinking about their job. I don't think that I've ever gone home or stayed up at night thinking about how to do better at my job. In fact, I usually liked a job for that reason - that I didn't have to put that kind of investment in to do it well. But, now perhaps, I'm thinking that it was a sign that maybe I didn't really like the job as much as I though after all. The only work related thing that I think about constantly, that keeps me up at night, that I devote a lot of energy into figuring out how to do better is education, specifically experiential education.

Maybe this interview just confirmed for me what I already knew. Sometimes the truly transformational experiences do that for a person - affirm things about us that we already knew. And that's one of the things I love about experiential ed....

A Sweater for Rocio

Here are some quick pictures of the sweater I made for my niece Rocio who is turning 2 May 16th. It is made from fleece and has two side panels that when on will make it feel like a little dress. It has a hood (my first hood!) and a zipper. I also had some fun with embroidery and iron-on flowers to give it something special. I finished it today and am now going to continue packing (what I should have been doing instead of sewing!)

One Week

I can't believe that it is one week until we leave for Boulder. It seems like the time has flown by. Living with my in laws has actually been nice. I have been blessed with great in laws which I know doesn't happen often. Especially the all so awful mother-in-law that little girls hear about pretty much as soon as they start planning their dream weddings to prince charming. I get along with Sharon really well. We talk a ton and since she taught me to sew, we have even more to talk about. She is like my mom praising my work and telling me how great it is. Jay's father is a man of few words but we have a lot of those in my family so it just seems normal to me. He does know how to make me laugh though, for sure. Anyway, it will be hard to leave, just as it was hard to leave Argentina. We have great friends in this area that we will miss very much as well. I am getting more nervous about work too. I will be transferring to the Panera in Boulder as a manager and just feel like no one will like being bossed around by someone who just arrived. People here respect me because they started with me and worked with me from the beginning. The people in Boulder don't know me and haven't seen me work so I feel like I will need to prove myself to them. Oh well, we shall see.

We have secured a place for the summer which was exciting. It is the whole basement of a house where two other people will be living. It is super close to work and right on a lake! We got an amazing deal and lucked out on a great location. I am really excited to get out there and set up our living space.

I have gone a little crazy with the sewing. Some might say I have become obsessed. After doing my skirt I did a pair of fleece pants for myself with pockets and a drawstring. Then I did an outfit for my nephew Tomas: jeans with cargo pockets and an elastic waistband, and a sweatshirt with a zippered collar and elbow patches. Now I am working on a sweatshirt for my niece Rocio and soon I will be starting pants for Jay. I love it, like seriously love it. It is so much easier than I thought it would be and with each project I learn so much more. I am so greatful that Sharon took the time to teach me and help me learn and progress. Below are some pictures of my nephews new outfit.

The whole outfit by the new tupils

Close-up of the sweatshirt with the patches

Close-up of jeans with cargo pockets.

And.....My parents-in-law bought me a sewing machine for my brithday!!!! I am so shocked! They gave it to me today and it is seriously amazing! It is on this great table that has sleeves you can pull up for more room and the sewing machine goes down into it so it can be used as a regular desk when you are not sewing. The table it gorgeous in an of itself. The sewing machine is the same brand I have been using here but the next version up. It is all mechanical too which makes me very happy! I was looking at sewing mahcines the other day and they all have computerized parts and LCD screen where you can pick your stitch. It was all so confusing and seemingly unnecesary. This machine is perfect and it means I can continue sewing while in Boulder!! I can't wait!

Jay and I have been trying to enjoy our last days here by spending some time at the parks and doing nice drives. This area is truly amazing in beauty. The rolling green hills and all the old stone farms and buildings are just wonderful. We went to one park after work and watched the sunset which was really great.

Sunset over the lake

We also got to spend some time with our friends Matt and Sarah who live in Harrisburg. We were there yesterday for Matts Birthday party and just had such a wonderful time. Jay and I left really upset and teary eyed. We will really miss them alot. Sarah is pregnant as well so the next time we see them they will have a child with them which is just a crazy thought.

On the roof deck at Matt and Sarahs

That's all for now. We will definately let you all know when we get to Boulder and how we are settling in.

Peace

Beyond the Realm of Words

The other day I was sitting in Barnes and Noble waiting for my wife to pick me up after work when I picked up the latest issue of Climbing Magazine (Yes, I admit I read them. But, I equate it to rubber necking. You know it's going to be bad, but you look anyway) Inside there was a letter from a former Senior Editor at Alpinist (The only climbing magazine actually worth reading) Katie Ives. Just about the entire climbing world is lamenting the loss of Alpinist and waiting to see what new editor Michael Kennedy does with the new version of it. Katie had written to Climbing to encourage that magazine to carry on the vision that the team at Alpinist had for their publication. The goal of their magazine was to try to begin to describe what she called "the world beyond the realm of words."

I can tell you that I've been to that world. I know this because everytime I try telling someone about one of my trips and I completely fail to capture their imagination. How does one describe a place that is beyond description? Just yesterday my family was asking me about my recent trip to Bolivia, and the best I could do to explain what I had done was to show inadequate pictures. Whatever spark ignites inside of me when I am in those places seems to be lost when I try to talk about them. I get the feeling that I come off sounding rather blase because of my matter-of-fact nature of speaking when talking about my trips. I can assure you though, that my true feelings are anything but apathetic. I've realized, though, that the thing that I've stopped putting energy into, is really trying to tell people about what I do. I can take you there. I can show you for yourself, but I can't just talk or show you pictures.

Something about that phrase, "beyond the realm of words" really struck me though as I read it and spurred a million other thoughts. I first thought of a Russell Brand interview I had heard the other day on Fresh Air where he was talking about the power of words and story telling (I don't know why that was my first thought, but strange as it isto think of, it was). I next thought about Three Cups of Tea, which I finally got around to reading after my wife had been telling me for months (maybe years) to pick it up. That thought led to my trip to Bolivia, and then on to my life in the past year. I am two weeks away from my third, or fourth, depending on how you count, major life change in the last year. It's been a lot to take in, and I'm trying to make sense of it all now before we move on to our next, and hopefully, last, location (for at least another 6 months).

My last blog about Bolivia focused on the really difficult parts of the trip and none of the really amazing people, places or things that we did. I think that is simply because its easier to write about the hard things than all of the things that lie beyond the realm of words. Bolivia was simply amazing; it was amazing in a way that I can't really describe. All I can say is that it has consumed my thoughts for the two weeks since I've been back. The conversations I had there have inspired my mind, and at the moment there are more questions than answers. So, I'll focus on the things that I've been thinking about, as incomplete as those thoughts may be.

The kind of people that I really envy in life are the ones like Greg Mortenson. It's not the lifestyle that makes me jealous, but the singularity of vision in a person like that. Name it whatever you will - calling, vocation, mission, life's purpose. They are all words for the same thing. What would possess a person to make radical changes in everything that they do to pursue one single thing on the road far less traveled? I think that it is partly witnessed somthing spectacular in the realm beyond words. In the case of Greg Mortenson, he was already exploring some of the most incredible and indescribable places on the planet when he literally stumbled onto the wrong path and everything changed for him.

The last year has definitely been the road less traveled for us, so what paths have we stumbled upon? Living without fulltime work, Colorado, wilderness, Argentina, Patagonia, Chester County, substitute teaching, Bolivia. I've walked a road or two in all of those places. Before we left for Argentina I had decided that I would not make any definite decisions about what I wanted to until after returning from Africa. I wanted that to be my time of trial and reflection, and I hoped that I would emerge on the other side of that experience with a Mortenson-like vision for what the next stage of my life would be. Well, Africa didn't happen, and a few other paths have opened up instead. Have any of those new journeys been the one to change everything for me? How about the journeys of the past year? Or are they all moving towards another, as of yet, undiscovered, path? Or perhaps even nothing at all. Maybe the singular moment where I see it all clearly will never come. Waiting for a grand epiphany isn't usually the best method for life and/or career planning, but hey, I don't have any other great ideas at the moment.

Are you now wondering how this rambling post has managed to go from reading a bad magazine to trying to figure out what to do with my life? It's all connected - trust me. Just focus on the realm beyond words idea. Like I said, I've been there. I've seen it; I've lived in it; I've breathed in it deeply. Now, the question is what to do next, and I don't know. If I had the answer I wouldn't be rambling.

In Russell Brand's new book (which has turned out to not be that great, eventhough Russell clearly has streak of genius when it comes to language - I think that just comes from being British) he writes the following passage, which though, not the situation he's writing about, is completely applicable to the realm beyond words - or in that case any location or situation that really puts one in the crucible.

In that situation, alienated from my normal surroundings, I realized that the outer surface of what I thought was my unique individual identity was just a set of routines. We all have an essential self, but if you spend every day chopping up meat on a slab, selling it by the pound, soon you'll find you've become a butcher. And if you don't want to become a butcher (and why would you?) you're going to have to cut right through to the bare bonds of your own character in the hope of finding out who you really are. Which bloody hurts.

So, because I've spent the last year running around the world, leading trips, and teaching - does that make me an outdoor educator? Or is my "essential self" something other than that?

It Doesn't Have to Be Fun to Be Fun

Huayna Potosi from Campamento Argentino

Uhhhh.... stomach churning.....should not have eaten that chicken last night.... hurts so bad......lungs burning.... can't breathe..... ahhhh.... head pounding..... need to sit down..... need some food.... so tired..... need some sleep.....


So did you have a good time?!?

Hmmmmm... yes. I had a wonderful time stumbling up and down the mountain feeling just about as awful as one can feel and still be standing. I've been home for a week now, and I'm just starting to recover from the 14 pounds I lost, and the round of antibiotics I needed to get my GI tract back to normal. There's an old saying in mountaineering - It doesn't have to be fun to be fun. This trip was definitely fun.

That's me sitting on the right, feeling just a little bit better on the way down.

Just before leaving for Bolivia this article came across my Google Reader.
http://www.highlineonline.ca/media/winter_2009/guidebook/dance_monkey.html
It was written by Andrew Wexler, a guy who's spent the last ten years guiding climbs in South America, and while he writes about several countries, the main part of the article is about the idiosyncrasies of leading groups in Bolivia. He writes about the dance one needs to perform to navigate the landscape of roadblocks, political chaos, missing bagage and food poisoning all while ensuring the safety the paying clients. Andrew Wexler had ten years of stories to draw upon for his article, but I contend, with the following, that one does not need ten years of experience to have their share anecdotes about performing the "dance" in South America.

First, the bagage - this was actually a relatively minor incident, but when we arrived in La Paz the bag with all of my personal equipment (backpack, tent, sleeping bag, etc.) was missing. I spoke with the airline agent, provided the address where I was staying in Cochabamba, and went on my way. I've lost bags on South American flights before, and they eventually turned up - a week later. I called the next day to find out that my bag had added a side trip to Sao Paolo, but was now on its way to La Paz and eventually Cochabamba. It would be delivered the following day. Needless to say, it didn't show up, so I followed the trail of misinformation from the guest house host, the guest house guard, and the kiosco owner across the street who would hold the bag for me while I was up in the mountains. When I asked if the bag arrived, he directed me to Guillermo's house next door where I would need to go to call the airport because they definitely don't deliver luggage. As I said, this was a relatively minor inconvience. To get the back, I just had to send my passport to the airport with my friend Jose Luis, who knew a guy that could take care of these kinds of things. I had my stuff a few hours later.

The story that takes the cake from this trip though, is the mysterious illness that my friend Ryan developed after a few days in Cochabamba. He came down with what could have been strep throat as well as other strange symptoms. He consulted a doctor, and we went to the pharmacy to pick up some antibiotics for him. The great thing about South America is that you don't need a prescription at the pharmacy, so in addition to some amoxicillin we got a bonus of an injectable penicillin cocktail all for around $10 bucks. The guy at the pharmacy thought it was amusing to talk to me in Quechua even when I told him that I didn't understand.

We headed back to the guest house and Jose Luis, who got his injection training from his wife, stuck Ryan in the cheek with the penicillin shot. Ryan stayed at the guest house for another day to try to recover before heading into the mountains, and everyone else drove up to Tunari to acclimatize by sleeping at elevation for a night. There was a little mix up with the second penicillin shot, so when we met up the next Ryan had to get a shot in the other cheek in the back bathroom of a Bolivian gas station. He was a good sport about the whole thing. He just gave me this look before Jose Luis stuck him again that was filled with questions like, "Am I really about to get a shot of penicillin, from an unknown laboratory, for an unconfirmed disease, in a dirty, disgusting gas station bathroom, from an untrained person, without any kind of sterilization beforehand. Yes, Ryan. Yes, you are. Welcome to Bolivia. To his credit, Ryan just rolled with it, and seemed fairly unphased by the whole experience. Perhaps it was just a little too surreal to really hit home. His only request to Jose Luis beforehand was to not touch anything in the bathroom or put anything down anywhere.









The gas station bathroom
Jose Luis preparing the shot

Our last day in the mountains was spent at Huayna Potosi. We got a late start getting over there from the Condoriri Group, so we stopped for dinner in El Alto to save time instead of cooking late that night. I was so hungry that I scarfed down two servings of fried chicken. Unfortunately, the restuarant was just a little bit suspect, and Alex and I paid for it later. We got to the refugio late that night, packed our gear and got to bed as fast as possible. We wanted to start climbing at 1 am, but I was the first to bed at 11. We would start a little later to at least get a little sleep. We were up at 3 am and hiking by 4:30. By sunrise around 6 or 6:30, I decided my stomach had had enough, and luckily we were at the rock camp refugio. There was a "bathroom" there, and a very nice guy who gave me some paper. Feeling only slightly better I roped up to get on the glacier. The only problem was that every weaker and weaker step brought more pain - more stomach churning, more head pounding. It was slow going.

The summit was out of the question for us as we were 3 hours behind schedule and moving slowly. I'm glad we made it as far as we did. I'm glad I got to see Campamento Argentino, and I'm glad we didn't go any farther. Ryan told me on the way down that I didn't look so good - if he only knew.....

Uhhhh.... stomach churning.....should not have eaten that chicken last night.... hurts so bad......lungs burning.... can't breathe..... ahhhh.... head pounding..... need to sit down..... need some food.... so tired..... need some sleep.....

Welcome to Bolivia!

PS - To be fair, it was an absolutely amazing trip, and this blog perhaps is biased toward the slightly more challenging aspects of the experience. For a little more balanced view, check out my pictures at: http://picasaweb.google.com/jaybennett83/Bolivia#

Sew Domestic

So I have taken up sewing. I am really excited about it. I have always dreamt about making my own clothes and someday making clothes for my kids. My grandmother made clothes for my mom and her siblings and I just think its so awesome. Plus, it is way more economical to make your clothes than to buy them AND they always fit better. The only thing holding me back? I have no idea how to sew and the only times I'd used a sewing machine, I'd gotten completely frustrated with jams and thread and speed, you name it. I mentioned this to my mother-in-law one day and she said she would teach me. She knew how to sew for real, once having made a wedding dress for her soon to be sister-in-law. So I went out, got some fabric and an easy pattern and got to work. I laid out the pattern and was already confused. Sharon helped me and didn't laugh at my questions and mistakes. I cut out the pattern and then cut out my fabric. She threaded the bobbin for me, showed me some sewing 101 and I got to work on some scraps. With her help, I learned to love sewing with a machine. So much faster than by hand...

I made a skirt and am very proud of it. I looks like a skirt, drapes like a skirt and actually fits. I am amazed. Here is what my first ever sweing project looks like:

Top hem

Bottom Hem

I already have my next project on deck. I am making some thin drawstring fleece pants. I am really excited because I have wanted these for awhile and never wanted to pay so much for them. I will let you know how it goes.

In other news, Jay is back, alive and well. I am sure he will write a detailed post about the trip. He brought our new camera with him and loved it. We bought a new camera, by the way. It is the Olymus Stylus 1030SW, in green.

It is shockproof, waterproof, freezeproof, crushproof, its a eco-product, 10.1 megapixels, 3.6x wide-angle lens and the list goes on. This camera can take photos and video underwater, can be dropped while climbing and survive and can be attached to your harness while climbing for easy photo taking, worry free. Crazy. Jay said it rocked. His pictures show it. I am excited about it as well because it just takes amazing pictures and has so many great features.